Hurt

 

The boys in grammar school didn't think of me that way.
The boys in high school didn't think of me that way.
Saul no longer thinks of me that way.
Ron never thought of me that way.
But I am that way.
I am so that way.
I am, alas,
so that way.

 

 

Roses

 

Along 20th St., near Walnut, fresh from that indoor vendor, wishing for a man
who would give me flowers, when suddenly there they just were, lying in the
street--the street, literally, maybe four inches from the curb.

You couldn't miss them, they were like a lamp of many bulbs, a coat of many
colors, shades of red, yellow, orange, combos, and brand-spanking new, not a
crease among them and all wrapped up in that triangular clear plastic.

And you know that Norman Rockwell drawing? Cop stopping traffic so a mother
cat can get her kitten safely across; well,

cars were slowing down and swerving, to avoid those roses, the drivers
sporting the same expression as Norman Rockwell's cop.

I wanted those roses for my new house and my new vase so I walked on over,
there was another car approaching so just in case I signalled, pointing down
to the roses, I gestured, smiled, called out thanks as I rescued them for good.

Like a queen I felt. People stopped and complimented.
A man had not given them to me but a community had.
I brought them home like bringing a new baby home,
carried them over the threshold, put them
into the new vase.

 

 

The Beginning of Courage

 

I'm getting used to this already, having a year instead of twenty or thirty,
having a mini-future instead of a maxi-future, being a temporary human being
(more temporary than before).

In my usual style, I have survived this, and quickly, I can do this, I can
live this way.

And now to practicalities: A temporary human being does not need to go to
Singles Events. A temporary human being does not need to find a tenured
position, a temporary human being does not need to start another book or do
more house renovations or not get cable because of the cost. And a temporary
human being is glad about relationships that did not work out.

A temporary human being does need to keep on teaching, keep on being a good
friend to friends, keep on helping her children with chemistry homework, keep
on writing about the experience of being a temporary human being.

A temporary human being has less future to worry about, but more present.

--Marion Cohen

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